He Never Wavered
What do a lost, promiscuous, hopeless teenager and a drug addict living for the party, never thinking of the future have in common? Nothing, but being loved by the Father.
That may sound like the start of a bad joke. But the reality is, Brett and I had nothing in common when we met and married. When we met in 1993, both of us were living lives for ourselves solely. Living for the pleasure that each day held with no thought about consequences. We were both running from God, thumbing our noses at the Creator of the Universe, letting Him know that we were going to do it our own way.
We were arrogant, prideful, selfish, and lost. By all rights, we deserved nothing but judgment. And yet, God loved. We had done nothing to deserve it. In fact, we had worked against it. But that’s just how God is. God is love. (1 John 4:8) We are created with a purpose. We are created to bear the image of God. When we were created, He knew what that would look like in our lives and how we would live. And yet, He loved.
At several points in our lives, I can see that God put roadblocks in our path to change the direction we were headed. At the time, it didn’t seem kind. It seemed unfair and maybe even cruel but now looking back, I could not be more grateful for those roadblocks. Because at each turn we had to stop and think, assessing what was happening in our lives. And at each of those roadblocks, God was speaking. Not all of those times did we listen, but again, He was faithful. He was patient. None of those times did we deserve His mercy. But He loved us anyway.
This is one of the most shocking and awesome realities, Brett and I did nothing to deserve that love. There was simply nothing in us that could earn the favor of this great God. Isn’t that the hardest part of the gospel message to accept?
God loved us before we even acknowledged Him. When we were running away from Him when by our actions and our words, we declared we were good without Him. He loved. (Romans 5:8)
We spend so much of our lives arguing with God about His love for us. We are convinced we know His heart better than He does. We hear His words, and we doubt their meaning. Simply put, we choose not to believe Him.
Imagine how different it would be if we lived in that knowledge and understanding of God’s love for us. Pause for a moment and think about that. How different would your life look if you knew God loved you completely? You don’t have to strive to earn His love. You don’t have to do more positive things than negative things praying one out weights the other. You don’t have to pray that He would love you in spite of yourself. If you knew He loved you with his whole heart, how would you feel? How would you live? (Ephesians 2:3-5)
When I pause to rest in that truth and look back at what God has brought us out of, I can see that love. And it’s so deep. It’s so rich. It’s so gracious and patient and merciful. He is love. His only desire is a relationship with me and with you. He desires a relationship with those whose hearts want to soak in that love.
When I look back and see what God has done, I am so grateful for roadblocks. I am so grateful for His faithfulness. I am so grateful for His mercy. It makes me want spend the rest of my days, telling everyone what an awesome God He has. It changes my need to work for His love into a desire to honor Him with all that I am. I seek to obey, not because I have to because I love Him. He deserves nothing less because He loved me even then.
Today, as I look back at all He’s done, our wedding, our divorce, our remarriage, 26 years of history. I just want to rest in His love for me. I don’t want to forget or doubt His love. I want to take Him at His word.
He’s a God who loves the broken and lost. He’s a God who sees us in the middle of our mess and has compassion for us. He rushed into that mess to hold us and extend grace to us.
Right now, no matter where you’re at, I challenge you to remember that He loves you. And He desires a relationship with you. No matter what you’ve done, no matter where you’re at, no matter if you believed in Him before or not. Take him at His word.
His loved didn’t waiver, even when mine did.
