My Ebenezer – “He has helped us thus far”

When you walk in my front door one of the first things you will see is this wall hanging. It signifies so many things. This has become, for me, my Ebenezer. You may not remember that word in the Bible and all you can picture is a grumpy old man from A Christmas Carol but it is in fact a biblical word.

1 Samuel begins before the people of Israel had asked God for a king. They were lead by the prophet Samuel. This was before the mighty King David or even King Saul. If you remember anything in the early Old Testament it’s the people of Israel were slow learners and often did it wrong first then choose to listen and do it right. (Boy, that sounds familiar!) As we start the book of 1 Samuel we see that the Israelites were up against a terrible army, the Philistines. The Israelites were afraid. They choose to take the Ark of the Covenant, God’s presence, into battle but forgot to ask God if that was a good plan. The Lexham Bible dictionary explains the Ark this way; the Israelites believed the ark of the covenant was symbolically Yahweh’s throne—representing His very presence on earth. They neglected to ask God if He wanted them to go into war or better yet, did God Himself want to go to war. The Ark gets captured and Israel is left defeated and afraid. God moves on the Philistine people and the land after the Ark was captured and before long they send the Ark back to Israel because it’s become a curse to them. The Ark was left in an out of the way place because the Israelite people weren’t willing to move it God’s way, they were too afraid. The Israelites mourned not having the Ark with them for years.

After long period of time, 20 years in fact, God moves on Samuels’ heart to bring the Ark back to where the Israelites were camped. First, Samuel tells the people to get their hearts right with God. Living near the Philistines so long they had adopted the worship of false gods into their worship. They had set up idols in their camps and homes. The people remove their idols and come to a place where, as a people, they confessed their sins and repented for their idolatry. When the Philistines got word that so many Israelites were meeting together they assumed it was for war. The Philistines assembled and marched out to fight. Of course the Israelites were afraid upon hearing this. Samuel was not to be deterred. He continued to pray and ask the Lord for help. God answers with such loud thunder that it throws the Philistines into confusion and made it easy for the Israelites to route them and send them packing.

After the battle, Samuel creates an Ebenezer. 1 Samuel 7:12 NIV  Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” God had done a miracle for the Israelites. The Ebenezer was set up to help them never forget what God had done for them. Each time they traveled by this place, this stone would remind them of God’s faithfulness.

You see for Brett and I our story is rocky. Lots of disobedience and sin. We both had idols in the form of seeking out things that would make us feel better. We looked for people and affections to make us believe we were loved. We had searched and poured out our lives looking for meaning and hope. We had been married for 9 years. A terrible selfish marriage. We never should have married in the first place but because we had made choices up to that point, we thought there was no going back. Now fast forward 9 years of damage towards ourselves and our children, we were at a breaking point.

I left Brett hoping I would find fulfillment in another relationship. Brett had been an addict for our entire married life and I thought I deserved better. (I often failed to recognize that I married him just the way he had always been.) Now 9 years and two kids into it, I wanted out. I set up my little idol, creating my own way to happiness, not asking God if it was wise. I went ahead trusting my instincts. Leaving Brett didn’t heal my hurt. It didn’t take my pain away. In fact, it only served to remind me that I was awful at making my decisions or determining my own path. I needed God to help me heal. I needed Him to guide me in finding joy. I would not find it doing things my own way.

I wish I could say I figured that out quickly. I would love nothing more than to tell you how I turned back and God fixed it all then. Nope. The hard way is what I choose. 3 long years after leaving Brett I looked at my life. Serving self had done nothing for me. I had relationships that were not giving me what I had hoped. I had severed my trust in God and He appeared to be a long way off. I felt hopeless looking at the ashes of a life I thought I could create.

Looking at Brett at the same time I saw healing. He had gotten clean and sober. He had come to a place where he knew God was the only way to heal. He was trusting God daily, even in the hard times. (Mostly caused by me and my actions.) He was investing time in our girls. This is the type of man was what I was searching for. Hoping to find in all my backward attempts. God had dramatically transformed Brett into the husband I had always wanted.

After comparing each of our last 3 years of being divorced, I assumed it was hopeless. Why would God give us a second chance or why would Brett take me back after all this pain I caused? This is where the loud thunder of God happened for us like it did the Israelites. God can do what no man can. Brett and I hadn’t spoken for most of the last year and a half of our divorce. When my life came to this crashing halt, the door opened for us to start taking again. Brett was willing and waiting, hoping for just this moment to come! This was an answer to his prayer.

There are so many awesome details I wish I could fit in this post but for now I will say, God did miracle after miracle for us. He changed out hearts and created an ability for us to heal. He drew us to a place that quickly we decided to get remarried. God was so merciful to us! He still continues to blow us away with what He has done and is doing for us. That second wedding was nearly 14 years ago.

So back to the pictures in the front room of my house. The top photo is of the first wedding, The second, is of our second wedding and the third is of our family adding our third sweet daughter after we remarried. The final photo is Isaiah 44:22 NIV I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you. The two words I use to describe our lives, restored and redeemed are on either side. God did an amazing thing for us. When I created that wall hanging, I did it so that each and every time we walk in or out the door, we are reminded of what God has done. Others who visit see it as well. It’s a testimony of God’s faithfulness. It stands as an Ebenezer saying “God has helped us thus far”.