To be known…

O, to be known.

Do you remember the show Cheers from the 80’s?  The one with the theme song “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”?  The idea being that this bar, Cheers, was a place that you could go and be known and know you’re not alone.  Isn’t that what we all want?  We want to be known and loved.  We want to know that people think of us. That they love us.  They want to hang out with us.  They enjoy our relationship.

If you think like me, once we say yes we want to be known, then suddenly, we pull back. Our thoughts become less warm and fuzzy.  What if they really know me?  What if they know how I think or the real me?  Maybe they won’t really want to be my friend any longer.  It becomes a catch 22.  To be known, you have to be vulnerable or else the version of you they know is a fake.  But even with that understand and struggle, we all desperately want to be known.  We don’t want to have to fear people finding out who we really are and if they will really love us if they knew…. We have a need to be fully known and fully loved. Right in the middle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is – love/belonging.  It’s a real need we all have. 

So, what do we do about it? We need to be real.  Now, before we lose it with all the reasons we can’t be completely real, let me say that there are few people who we should allow to be so close to us that we show them all the good and bad in us.  They should be trustworthy and a true friend, not one who uses our confession against us or to hurt us. And there is only one who knows everything about you.  He knows all the good and bad parts.  The parts you keep hidden and the parts that you don’t want to acknowledge. He knows and He still loves you.

God.  Don’t check out on me because you think you have heard this too many times before. Or maybe you know this already so you don’t need to think about it anymore.  The real fact is, we are all wanting each day to be known more and more.  But if we really knew the truth about being known, we wouldn’t be striving so hard day after day for that affirmation. 

We post on social media to get others to like and comment.  We only show our good side so those who read will want to be like us.  We hope for interactions so that we can share what we know in an effort to look smart so others will want to hear from us.  We want likes, shares, invites, affirmation, acknowledgement, to be popular, to be an influencer.  It all comes from the need to be known or loved.

When we stop to think about all of it we realize that being famous or popular doesn’t mean we are known or loved.  We know there are plenty of people who by all standards are popular/famous but are not loved and truly we know very little about them.  So just having people know about you may not mean you are known or loved more.  That need isn’t met.

Nothing we strive to have outside a relationship with Christ will satisfy this need.  We were created to love and to be loved.  Psalm 139:1-4 Lord, You have searched me and known me. ² You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. ³ You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. ⁴ Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, Lord. We are fully known by God! He knows all about us.  Every detail.  Even things we don’t know about ourselves, He knows.  So, with all the information that He knows about us, how does He feel about us? Psalm 139:16-18 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. ¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! ¹⁸ If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.

These scriptures tells us that He thinks of us more than we can count, and He’ll never leaves us! I have a hard time fathoming that. It’s overwhelming to think that He loves me that much.  We know that if we don’t care about something or someone, we don’t think of them often and we certainly don’t want to be around them.  God is not like that!  He knows all about us, loves us, and desires to be with us. 

We live in a world that looks for love everywhere.  How can we, who are loved and know that love, love others? When we really know that God loves us, we can live free from needing that love from others.  We will feel loved and secure in God’s love so much so that we will value less what others think of us.  We can rest in being fully know and fully loved. In that rest we can show that love to others. That’s where being vulnerable comes into play.  We must be willing to share our lives with those around us. Letting them into the not so perfect parts of our lives. When we live with the knowledge of God’s amazing love for us, we are free to share that love with no strings attached. We can love others, flaws and all, because we are loved, flaws and all.

Knowing God loves me deeply doesn’t make me perfect. I will continue to be a mess in process of being renewed. But as I live, walking the journey of life, filled with God’s love, I’m filled with wonder that I am loved so fully. In that wonder, God provides so much love that I have to give those around me. I can be vulnerable letting God fill my deepest needs so I won’t need others to fill me. I can be vulnerable speaking God’s love over others confident that God can love me deeply and still have enough love to love others too.

Abba, Thank you that you created me with purpose and love. I thank you that you love me so much that you think of me more than I can think or imagine. You alone know all about me, and love me even still. Thank you that you love being in relationship with me. Help me to understand more and more each day, how deeply you love me. Fill me with your love so much that I am willing and excited to pour that love out to others around me. Let me trust your love and rest in it rather than trying to fill my life with worthless things. You alone meet my needs. I love you.