What does a relationship with God look like?

That comment struck a chord with me. Not because it spurred me on to work out harder but it was a good question to ask in many areas of my life. Am I willing to purse writing or healthy relationships or my health journey or my relationship with God, for as long as it takes to see the change? It’s a tough question to answer. My first response is, “Well, what will I have to do to see change?”. Is that your question too?

When we talk about relationships we may not ask that question (because we would appear rude) but maybe we wonder what more needs to be done for improvement. Our relationship with God may bring more questions to mind. After all He is the God of all things. He is infinite and all powerful. He is so many things I am not. How can I approach Him?

I believe to answer the question we must first evaluate what we believe about the goal. Let’s take a health goal. Maybe we need to improve our heart strength to have a better chance at a long life. Maybe we understand that losing a few pounds will help our joints to hurt less. So understanding the goal is important. Second, we need to understand our immediate response to that goal. Do I think that people who work out are mentally stronger than me? Maybe I think I am incapable of change when it comes to my eating. Or I can’t do the hard things it takes to get healthy. These are all things I have thought about my desire to be healthier as I age.

Once I have been real about a goal and honest about my feelings, I can begin to speak truth in those areas of my life. Retraining my brain to know that I am capable of hard things. I can do things that I don’t feel like doing because I know that the goal is important. Really quickly, let’s talk about feelings. We can not be people who go around living our lives and behaving however we want, based on our feelings. Consider Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? My heart is pulled at every whim, to live in the moment. To do what makes me happy for that time. But in reality when I choose to live for the moment or “follow my heart”, I have terrible consequences for those decisions. (I’ll talk more on this soon since I have tooooo many examples for this post.)

So we can’t trust our feelings to make decisions. If I don’t feel like working out, I never move towards my goal. If I push past my feelings to eat a healthy option or workout, I am thankful and glad I made that choice. I made a decision to do a thing that brings me closer to the goal. Let’s move to the example of relationships. In marriage we know that good relationships are created with communication and time invested together. If I don’t feel loved or validated, I might not want to spend time in my marriage. But each and every time I push beyond my feelings and create conversation, make time for my hubby or simply spend time talking/listening to him our marriage improves and the quality of our lives improve.

So back to the question, “What does relationship with God look like?”. Well, what kind of relationship do you want? We need to define the goal. For me, I want to be close to God. I want my relationship with Him to be the most important thing in my life. I want to know His voice and His love. I want to know that both good and bad things in my life are meant to shape me to be more of what He has planned for me.

If that is my goal, what do I believe about that goal? Am I worthy to be close to God? Does He really love me, the one who messes up all the time? Can I really hear God? Will I ever learn to obey rather than follow my feelings? Once I see these things pop up in my mind, I realize that I have damage in my life that clouds how I see God and His desire for relationship with me. Now, goal in mind, lies now out in the open, I can dig into truth and begin the of retraining my thoughts.

Some would place tons of demands and rules on us in this moment but God isn’t like that. He desires a relationship that is close and personal. He often calls Himself the Bridegroom and we are the Bride. That is to symbolize the type of closeness He wants. Because He isn’t flesh and blood, we can’t go out to coffee like I might with a friend or my hubby but He does provide ways to get to know Him. Allowing ourselves to understand He desires relationship with us is key.

God gives us the ability to come to Him and be in relationship with Him. John 6:44(a) “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, ..” Jesus talks about those who follow Him as Christ were ones that the Father drew to Him. Are you one He has drawn? Yes, you are or you wouldn’t want to read an article on how to have a relationship with God! So the opportunity given to us each day. Will we draw near to the One who desires to be with us.? If the answer is yes, what does that look like?

Next is just being willing to grow the relationship. Spend time reading His love letter (the Bible), talking with Him (prayer), talking about Him with others (living in Christian community). These are no different than we would expect. One point I want to be very clear on is, your work doesn’t bring God close to you. You will not have a deeper relationship with God by trying harder. He freely gives of Himself. The way to grow deeper is a heart that is soft towards God. Ready to listen rather than perform. It’s knowing He’s drawing you and coming to sit at His feet. It becomes hard that He isn’t a body standing in front of us. But one thing I know, it is that real. God loves when we come, spend time, enjoying being in His company. He doesn’t demand you come. Who loves when you have to hang out with people? No, He delights in us. He knows our thoughts, our heart, our feelings. He loves us even still. He doesn’t only love us because we do the right things. He loved us first!!! He wants to be close you.

Today, as you look at the relationship you have with God, do you want a deeper relationship? What are you willing to do to get there? I challenge you to spend a few minutes talking to God today, letting Him know your thoughts. And let Him tell you how loved you are. You are His beloved.